Sunday, April 3, 2011

An open letter to "Michael from Sydney"

In "Nagging doubts raised over helmet safety" in today's The Age, there were some interesting comments from readers from all walks of life. Obviously, as this is a divisive issue, there were some very strong feelings regarding whether or not helmets should be mandatory.

Personally, I don't think helmets should be mandatory, but that's a story for another day. Today, I'd like to talk about "Michael from Sydney".

Michael from Sydney doesn't like cyclists. I can tell because I am very clever. I can "read between the lines". "What lines?", I hear you ask. These lines:

"Are you sure that a hemet would protect cyclists' brains? Most seem to have their brains in their posteriors not there heads."

Michael, Michael, Michael...this doesn't seem a very nice thing to say. That, however, is not the reason that I've decided to air this amongst the community. Can anyone guess the reason?

The reason is the grammar and the spelling. Yes, in accusing all cyclists of having their brains in their posteriors, Michael from Sydney has made a heinous grammatical faux pas coupled with a juvenile spelling mistake (Michael from Sydney, "faux pas" means no-no).

Instead of using the possessive pronoun "their", Michael from Sydney has used some form of "there" (I'm not sure which one; it could be an adjective, pronoun, adverb or a noun).

He's also managed to spell "helmet" incorrectly, which is impressive since it constitutes the very topic being discussed.

Now, if Michael from Sydney had said something nice, or at least constructive, I would have let this slide. He clearly knows how to use the word "their" as he's managed to do so correctly twice already in the sentence. I would also guess that he knows how to spell "helmet". Further, he knows how to use an apostrophe in the plural, which is very impressive.

I don't even know what "posterior" means but I'm guessing that Michael from Sydney is implying that cyclists, for some reason or other, do not have their brains located in the physiologically "standard" location and are therefore stupid.

So, Michael from Sydney, if I were to make one suggestion, it would be that if you are going to accuse an entire group of being stupid, perhaps you should do so in a way that doesn't make you seem stupid. That way, people may take you seriously. Although, I doubt that.

Yours sincerely,

The Weekly Cycle.

P.S. I doubt Michael from Sydney reads this blog so if you know him, please pass this on.

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