Sunday, April 1, 2012

Pretty-picture-of-a-bicycle-in-a-coffee


I recently saw this photo. It was then that I realised that the effort poured into this blog had until now been wasted. It dawned on me that bicycles are not that important. Sure, they're fun to ride, environmentally friendly, sexy, expensive, light and just fantastic. But are they a pretty picture of a bicycle in a coffee?


This is the question I asked myself and I soon realised that the answer was a resounding "no". Bicycles are not a pretty picture of bicycle in a coffee. Bicycles are just...well...bicycles.

And then I asked myself a second question - what good is a bicycle if not drawn as a pretty picture in a coffee?

That's right - no good. No good whatsoever.

So, today, I visited my local café and I explained my pretty-picture-of-a-bicycle epiphany. And just as any good shrink understands their client and any good driver understands their clutch, my café understood my caffeinated needs...or my needs to do with caffeine...or something.

And this is what they came up with -



Sure, it's not perfect. Or even as good as the original. But for a first try, it's pretty damn fine. I was proud of my barista. I gave him a 500 riel tip. If that sounds like a lot, it is. It's almost thirteen cents.

Some may well say it looks more like a foetus riding a pair of tits. I say to those people; well, yes, yes it does. But it's a damn sight better than something not as good.

Take this for example;


Why are the handlebars so long? Why does the rear wheel look more like an onion? And what the hell is going on with the downtube? I could go on but I'll refrain.

And then there's this one;



It's a commendable effort but the cyclist is clearly about to fall asleep and any cyclist knows that's not a good idea.

Anyway, in case you haven't figured it out, this is no longer a bicycle blog. No, it's a pretty-picture-of-a-bicycle-in-a-coffee blog. Pretty soon, the URL will change to www.PrettyPictureOfABicycleInACoffee.com. You will be able to visit this blog and see all the prettiest pictures of bicycles in coffee. I will interview bicycle-in-coffee baristas and review all the best coffee machines for drawing bicycles. As a connoisseur of pretty pictures of bicycles in coffee, this will be the first blog you visit every morning to catch up on all the exciting pretty-picture-of-a-bicycle-in-a-coffee news.

I appreciate that this change will not suit everyone. Greatness isn't always recognised. That's cool. I can live with that. But I know that the majority of you, my dear readers, will appreciate that this is a step in the right direction. The direction of goodness and marshmallows and candy and yes-itivity.

Yes. And as our numbers swell we will see more pretty pictures of bicycles in coffee and the world will, as a direct result, be a better place. And for that, we will thank me.

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